Embrace the suck.

Who wants to follow somebody who only sees obstacles? Who wants to follow somebody who only communicates when something needs correcting?  Who wants to follow somebody who pulls people down?  The answer is nobody.

A leader who gets lost in negative thoughts and passes those thoughts and feelings on to the people they are called to lead will not inspire commitment from the team, whether that is at work or at home.

Positivity is a choice we get to make. It is a no-brainer to be positive in good times – when things are easy.  But when things are difficult, or we are caught in an ugly situation, will we choose Positivity or something less?

It’s inevitable that a leader at work or at home will face tests that need someone to exercise Positivity.  It is easy to wallow and complain in the midst of tough times.  But Leaders of Character do not settle for what is easy.

Positivity in tough times is not about ignoring the circumstances; it is about our choices in the midst of the circumstances that allow us to build the Habit of Positivity.

Here are three tests of Positivity a leader must pass if they want to become a Leader of Character.

1. Acknowledge the difficulty:  Don’t ignore the situation or pretend like everything is easy.  In the Army, we used to say, “Embrace the suck.”  Acknowledge the suck and then focus everyone, including yourself, on what the next step needs to be. Take some positive action and find a win to celebrate. Then move to the next action.  That is how positive momentum grows and Positivity takes over for negativity.
2. Focus on what you can control:  The things that suck are almost always out of our control. They might be budget or policy changes. They could be marketplace or political changes.  But none of those are in our control.  When a leader focuses themselves and everyone else on what is in their control, people feel empowered. They no longer feel helpless.  They see they have more power in the midst of circumstances than they thought they did.
3. Encourage more:  Most people are doing the vast majority of their jobs pretty well.  Is the ratio of encouragement versus correction in line with that?  In groups that hear more correction than encouragement, the leader will probably earn compliance.  If the leader stops and recognizes all the good work and does it as frequently as people are doing good things, that leader is much more likely to inspire commitment from that team.

You don’t have to wait for big, hairy problems to arise to begin exercising Positivity.  Every day, somebody will have a problem, a complaint, or do something that will give you a choice between Positivity or negativity.  Whichever one you choose, it will make it easier for you to make the same choice again.  The more time you pass these Positivity tests, the closer you come to being a positive Leader of Character.

Question:

• What can you do to help others “embrace the suck”?
• How will the attitude you choose affect those around you?