The more you practice something, the better you get at that thing.

There are some people who are really good at being selfish.  They know how to always get what they want, have their needs met first, and make sure others are working for them.  Selfishness is a habit. The more you practice selfishness, the more it becomes who you are. The more you choose yourself over others, the closer you get to becoming a selfish person.

Who wants to have a selfish leader, a selfish co-worker, or a selfish partner in life?  I know I choose selfishness too easily.  If I am not careful, I will:

• Avoid a problem and hope someone else will deal with it.
• Leave the trash in the kitchen and hope someone else will take it outside.
• Talk about my family, my job, or my day without asking about the other person.
• Not truly listen to the other person because I am formulating my rebuttal.
• Do what is easiest for me at the moment, rather than serve the other person.

It is easy to choose selfishness.  Even my friends in public safety (fire and law enforcement) know this is true.  These public servants consistently choose to put themselves on the line to serve their communities.  They care for Mrs. Smith when she dials 911.  They rescue people from burning cars on the freeway.  They are selfless in these moments.  But I always challenge them – “What happens when it comes down to how you treat each other? Or your spouse?”

If you are not careful, it can be easy to choose selfishness with those we know the best.  They get the worst of us. They get the selfish side of us.  When you are hungry, angry, lonely or tired, the people we care about the most receive our selfishness.

The first step in breaking a bad habit is recognizing you have a problem.  Once you exercise the Humility to look in the mirror and see you are being selfish, you give yourself an opportunity to choose something else – Selflessness.

Selflessness:  Putting the needs of others before my own needs, desires, or convenience.

Putting others first is a habit. Each time we pause and make the intentional choice to serve that peer or loved one, instead of choosing ourselves or what is convenient, it makes it easier to choose to do so the next time.  Selfish people practice selfishness.  Selfless people practice Selflessness.

The way you break your selfish habit is to choose Selflessness.  The more you practice something, the better you get at that thing.  The more you choose Selflessness, the better you get at Selflessness! It’s not rocket science, but it does require you to put in the effort and practice.

Question:

• When have you been selfish lately?
• How can you change that in the future?