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What Does Humility Look Like in Your 20’s?

Humility – You have to DO what you want to BE.

Can you be confident and humble at the same time? The answer is “Yes.” But for many people their desire to display confidence crosses the line to arrogance. Think about the people you’ve encountered in school or in your first job who misunderstood this balance.

They needed and even demanded the spotlight. They talked over the top of others. They wouldn’t listen to the ideas of others. They were sure they were right. They never admitted a fault. They wanted all of the credit if things went well but none of the blame if they didn’t.

Humility is like a muscle, you have to exercise it to make it strong. Without exercise, it will get weak and our pride will take over. When pride dominates our decisions, our confidence becomes arrogance. Like our muscles, Humility and the other Habits of Character don’t get stronger by talking about being humble, acting humble periodically, or only doing it when it is easy.

Exercising Humility or any of the other Habits of Character requires three things:

1. Action: We can’t just talk about being humble. We have to DO what we want to BE.

2. Consistency: Our Humility only gets stronger if we exercise consistently – just like a muscle.

3. Sweat: Making it “not about me” will make us uncomfortable. But if you are not sweating in the gym, you probably are not getting stronger either.

Exercising Humility can look like:

- Making the other person the center of the conversation.

- Listening twice as much as you speak.

- Holding a door open for others.

- Fighting to solve the problem not to just win the argument.

- Asking for help from a peer.

- Admitting to a peer, a supervisor, or a friend that you are wrong.

- Listening to feedback without getting defensive and/or arguing.

When I take the Character Assessment at, I score lowest in Humility. I am in my mid-fifties and I know pride is a huge enemy for me and my growth as a Leader of Character. In my twenties, I didn’t even try to fight that enemy and my growth as a leader suffered. But you can work on becoming a Leader of Character sooner than I did. You can begin to exercise your Humility now and have a positive impact on people earlier in your life.

I encourage all of you to build that muscle now. Exercise Humility and get that muscle ready for the tests that are coming your way as you progress at work and at life.


  • On a scale of 1 to 10, how humble are you?

  • What would the people who know you best say?

  • What exercises can you begin today to strengthen your Humility?


“Would you follow you?” That is a critical question we all need to ask ourselves if we want to become Leaders of Character. Research has proven that people want to follow character. But where is your character today? Here is a quick assessment that will take you 5 minutes to figure it out. Nobody will ever see your results but you. Warning: If you are not going to be honest with yourself this is a worthless assessment.

To take the assessment use the QR code above or go to

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