Entitlement and Negativity are Linked
When you think you deserve more, you become a victim. “I deserve more!” says the entitled person. When someone thinks they deserve more, will they ever be satisfied with what they have? No. As a result, entitlement sets people up to become selfish and negative. Who wants to be around, let alone follow, someone like that? Nobody. In today’s society, entitlement is a debilitating attitude that prevents people from becoming who they are called to be. They become negative and believe that the world is there to fulfill their needs. When it doesn’t, they become selfish and look out for themselves. Notice this issue is not wanting more. The issue is thinking we deserve more. Wanting more is the American Way. It is the way we make things better. It is the way one generation of a family works to improve things for the next generation. But pay attention to who that progress depends upon – Us! When we think we deserve more, then it is up to other people to change or for our circumstances to change. When we think that way, we make ourselves powerless victims. We complain. We wait. We stagnate and get mired in our own self pity. That is not what Leaders of Character do. Leaders of Character recognize that in the midst of uncontrollable circumstances, we still have power to make our own choices. We can choose to see the circumstances and find opportunities. We can choose to wallow, or we can choose to act. We can drag others down or we can lift them up. The entitled person has made a choice to be the victim. The Leader of Character has made a choice to be a leader – an agent of change. They take charge of their lives, no matter the circumstances or the people around them, and they take action. They act with Courage even if times are difficult. They exercise Humility, recognizing it is not about me. They choose Selflessness and focus on others instead of themselves. If you find yourself feeling negative and focusing on what you think the world might owe you, try a simple exercise. Be thankful for what you have. Take time each day and write down three things you are grateful for during the last twenty four hours. These may be little things like a laughing child, a fun conversation with a friend, and another paycheck. They could be big things like a roof over your head, a good report from your doctor, and the vacation you just took. When we stop and think about it, we all have been given a lot to be thankful for. Thanksgiving should happen more than once a year. Thankfulness is the antidote to entitlement. I guarantee you, when you spend time each day focusing on what you have been given in your life, the things that you are missing fade into the background. You will see your world differently and begin to celebrate your blessings, which will lead to Positivity and open your eyes to the needs of others – Selflessness. If you want to improve your view of the world – get rid of entitlement and replace it with thankfulness. Question: When have you let the victim mentality take over? How can thankfulness help you avoid that the next time? Here is a quick assessment that will take you 5 minutes to figure it out. Nobody will ever see your results but you. Warning: If you are not going to be honest with yourself this is a worthless assessment. To take the assessment use the QR code above or go to www.MYCHARACTERTEST.com
Being an Unethical Rule Follower
Integrity goes beyond just followiing the rules. Just because nobody has written a rule against it does not mean it is the right thing to do. How do we become unethical rule followers? Watch the next 109 seconds and think about your Integrity in these situations. Here is a quick assessment that will take you 5 minutes to figure it out. Nobody will ever see your results but you. Warning: If you are not going to be honest with yourself this is a worthless assessment. To take the assessment use the QR code above or go to www.MYCHARACTERTEST.com
VLOG – Your Character is Your Choice
How we are is who we are? The habits we display regularly determine our character. What choices do you make in difficult circumstances? Whatever they are, they will set you up to make a similar choice in the future. Are those choices something you want to repeat? Watch the 121 second video and reflect on those choices. Here is a quick assessment that will take you 5 minutes to figure it out. Nobody will ever see your results but you. Warning: If you are not going to be honest with yourself this is a worthless assessment. To take the assessment use the QR code above or go to www.MYCHARACTERTEST.com
VLOG – Compliant Groups vs Committed Teams
The next 117 seconds focuses on the difference between leaders who manage compliant groups and leaders who lead committed teams. Which would you rather have? It all comes down to who that leader is and what they focus on. Here is a quick assessment that will take you 5 minutes to figure it out. Nobody will ever see your results but you. Warning: If you are not going to be honest with yourself this is a worthless assessment. To take the assessment use the QR code above or go to www.MYCHARACTERTEST.com
VLOG – Your 1st Instinct Will Betray You
Our 1st intincts will get us in trouble. Those 1st instincts may be personality driven or driven by our biases. But they also give us the opportunity to choose our 2nd instinct – our character. In 137 seconds, I discuss how we exercise character and have the Humility to make choices based on our 2nd instincts. Here is a quick assessment that will take you 5 minutes to figure it out. Nobody will ever see your results but you. Warning: If you are not going to be honest with yourself this is a worthless assessment. To take the assessment use the QR code above or go to www.MYCHARACTERTEST.com
VLOG – Delaying Bad News
Sooner or later you are going to have to have that hard conversation. So why are you putting it off? In 111 seconds, I talk about why we delay those conversations and how our character is challenged each time we are tempted to put off that uncomfortable moment when you exercise the Courage to speak up. Here is a quick assessment that will take you 5 minutes to figure it out. Nobody will ever see your results but you. Warning: If you are not going to be honest with yourself this is a worthless assessment. To take the assessment use the QR code above or go to www.MYCHARACTERTEST.com
VLOG – Excuses Cheapen Our Integrity
When we make excuses, we sacrifice our Integrity. Over the next 128 seconds I make a case for why the excuses we make are in fact lies. I want you to rethink your approach to excuses and recognize the damage they do to your Integity. Or do you not have the time to watch this? Is that an excuse? Here is a quick assessment that will take you 5 minutes to figure it out. Nobody will ever see your results but you. Warning: If you are not going to be honest with yourself this is a worthless assessment. To take the assessment use the QR code above or go to www.MYCHARACTERTEST.com
VLOG – A Selfless Servant Leader is not a Weak Leader
If you think servant leadership is weak leadership you are dead wrong! I want to convince you that you can care for people and tell them hard truths at the same time. Avoiding a hard conversation so you stay comfortable is a selfish act. How is that? Hear my thoughts on that in 98 seconds. Here is a quick assessment that will take you 5 minutes to figure it out. Nobody will ever see your results but you. Warning: If you are not going to be honest with yourself this is a worthless assessment. To take the assessment use the QR code above or go to www.MYCHARACTERTEST.com
Lazy Leaders Demand Compliance
Don’t be lazy and demand compliance. Put in the effort now to inspire the commitment. The leaders who have to work the hardest are the leaders who demand compliance. It is ironic, because when a leader consistently demands compliance, it is often the easiest thing to do in the short run. The leader may be relying on the authority granted by a promotion or a rank on their collar. The leader mistakenly believes that giving orders is efficient. But, that is rarely the case. During my military and corporate careers I saw the people who demanded compliance working longer hours and being more dissatisfied with the results. For the last 10 plus years, I’ve seen the same dynamic in banks, telecommunications companies, fire departments and law enforcement agencies. Compliance is a short term leadership tactic. Yes, when quick action is needed, demanding and expecting compliance is efficient. But, while short term tactical efficiency works today, it is a lousy long term leadership strategy. In fact, it is a lazy leadership strategy. “Just do what I tell you.” “It’s all in the policy manual.” “I don’t have time for your questions.” “I was doing this before you were in diapers.” “Stay in your lane.” These comments are made by lazy leaders. They may get compliance in the moment, but they will never get commitment. There is a huge difference between a compliant group and a committed team. The compliant group does things because they have to, and they usually only do the minimum. The committed team does things because they want to, and they usually go above and beyond. The leader of a compliant group gives orders and tells people what to do. Their communication is short and efficient, in the moment. They tell people “what to do” and “how to do it”. If the leader sees a problem they solve it. If people are unsure of what to do next, they wait to be told what to do by the leader. The leader may feel like they are integral to the success of the team. But in the long run, that leader spends more time monitoring progress, demanding interim reports, and complaining when things are not done to their expectations. The leader of a committed team provides goals and then empowers people to accomplish the goals. They take time to train the skills to do the work and then let the people do it. They put in more time upfront explaining the “why” and less time on the back end telling people “what” to do. They inspire people and then trust them to do their best work. The people in turn, find problems and solve them. They come to work knowing they are trusted, and they are committed to doing good work. In the long run, the leader’s job gets easier and easier, because people who solve their own problems learn faster and adapt on their own. With each successive project the team becomes more efficient and the output gets better. At the same time, the leader is less and less important to the project’s success. Compliance may be less work upfront. But the leader dooms themselves to a life of micromanaging and a group of employees who only do things when they have to, at the minimum standards, when they are told to do it. Commitment may be more work upfront. But the leader builds a team that doesn’t need monitoring because they are doing what they want to do, above expectations, and doing it without being told what to do. Which is a smarter way to lead? Which is an easier way to lead? Leaders – Don’t be lazy and demand compliance. Put in the effort now to inspire the commitment that will make your job easier in the future and allow your people to flourish. Questions: Which would you rather lead? A compliant group or a committed team? How can you inspire commitment? Here is a quick assessment that will take you 5 minutes to figure it out. Nobody will ever see your results but you. Warning: If you are not going to be honest with yourself this is a worthless assessment. To take the assessment use the QR code above or go to www.MYCHARACTERTEST.com
VLOG – Lying to Ourselves about Little Lies
We are lying to ourselves about the impact of little lies. They make a difference because each time we make a choice, a little lie, it makes it easier to make that same choice again. The next 141 seconds is meant to make you rethink that lie you may be telling yourself about little lies. P.S. BEAT NAVY!!! Here is a quick assessment that will take you 5 minutes to figure it out. Nobody will ever see your results but you. Warning: If you are not going to be honest with yourself this is a worthless assessment. To take the assessment use the QR code above or go to www.MYCHARACTERTEST.com
Are You Reliable? What are Your Everyday Moral Obligations?
If not me, then who? If not now, then when? You may say, Hey! I did what I was told to do!” But is that good enough? There are things we are told to do. There are job descriptions, policies, and verbal directions that are intended to tell us what tasks we need to accomplish. Examples include our job descriptions, project deadlines, standards and metrics. The real issues occur when someone believes that accomplishing these things are good enough. This may be good enough for somebody who wants to remain at an entry level position or never be trusted with more responsibilities. Taking action based on just your assigned tasks will probably be enough if that is your goal. But for anyone aspiring to be more, then there is more to do. Duty: Taking action based on our assigned tasks and moral obligations. We all have moral obligations as leaders at work and at home. Think of our moral obligations as the “ought to’s” in life. These go beyond the minimum expectations of job descriptions or verbal directions. They include the things that need to be done. Embracing and acting on your moral obligations makes you somebody people can count on. You become a person who takes the initiative because you are not waiting for someone to tell you what to do. You ask yourself: “If not me, then who?” “If not now, then when?” Duty – taking action based on our assigned tasks and moral obligations – becomes a habit through practice. Think of Duty, and all six of the Habits of Character, like a muscle. The more you exercise it, the stronger it gets. The more you take action on your “ought to’s” the easier it will become the next time you are faced with a moral obligation. To give you some insight, here are some moral obligations I have at work and at home. Some of them I do well and others need exercise. Work: Keeping track of travel receipts for our Operations Leader – Lauren. Reviewing my notes at the end of the week to be sure I’ve fulfilled all my commitments. Making a phone call when I’d prefer to just send an email. Managing my priority list so the important things get done before the fun things. Home: Picking up the ice cube that fell on the floor. Make the bed when my wife Elizabeth has to leave early for work. Staying healthy through diet and exercise so I am available for my family for a long time. Calling my friends to check in on them. What are your moral obligations? What are the things you “ought to do” at work and at home? I want to challenge you to make your own list and then take action. Because each time you fulfill those moral obligations, you are another step closer to being that reliable Leader of Character that others will want to follow. Question: What is the smallest moral obligation you can improve upon? How will being more consistent with that help you to become a more reliable person? Here is a quick assessment that will take you 5 minutes to figure it out. Nobody will ever see your results but you. Warning: If you are not going to be honest with yourself this is a worthless assessment. To take the assessment use the QR code above or go to www.MYCHARACTERTEST.com
VLOG – Confidence Attracts – Arrogance Repels
Is it confidence or is it arrogance? That is a line that too many leaders cross. When their opinion is challenged, they fight or preach instead of showing their confidence and Humility by working to understand. What if that was the norm, instead of what we see displayed today. What type of leaders would we have? See how I answer that in 118 seconds. Here is a quick assessment that will take you 5 minutes to figure it out. Nobody will ever see your results but you. Warning: If you are not going to be honest with yourself this is a worthless assessment. To take the assessment use the QR code above or go to www.MYCHARACTERTEST.com
Growth and Comfort Cannot Coexist
If comfort is our goal, we will stagnate. There are a lot of external challenges that are thrown in a leader’s path – market shifts, policy changes, poor communication, and personnel turmoil. There are also obstacles that we create for ourselves. One of those obstacles is the desire to be comfortable. Here is a truth every leader needs to embrace: Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. The desire for comfort is not a bad thing by itself, but it is also a desire that will stunt your growth. Growth and comfort cannot coexist in the same person. You know this to be true. When you look backwards you will realize that the toughest circumstances were also the situations where you learned and grew the most. You are who you are today because of the times you were uncomfortable not because of the moments things were easy. But our human nature and even our society makes us search for an ever increasing level of comfort in our lives. As we become more and more successful, maintaining our comfort becomes more and more important. The problem with that is when comfort becomes our goal, we will stagnate. Who we are today will be the best we will ever be. I am in my late 50’s now, I do not want this to be the apex of my growth. Do you? I am not suggesting everyone should go climb Mount Everest or swim the English Channel. But I do want people to embrace the small difficulties in life as opportunities instead of things to be dreaded. When hard things happen, we are facing a chance to grow. These are opportunities to exercise Courage and Positivity. Courage: Acting despite perceived or actual risk. Positivity: Displaying a positive and/or “can do” attitude in all circumstances. The circumstances we face give us a choice. We can avoid the risks of that challenge and decide the circumstances are too overwhelming. Or, we can exercise the Courage to face those circumstances with an attitude that says, “I/we will find a way.” When we stop facing challenges and avoid the discomfort challenges bring, we may protect ourselves from the immediate discomfort, but we set ourselves up to be a lesser version of who we could become. Comfort is the enemy here, not the difficulties in front of us. We have to embrace discomfort if we want to grow, Our comfort zones are our mediocrity zones. Growth requires us to embrace discomfort. A comfortable leader, at work or at home, is a stagnant leader. Here are some ideas that may help you break free of your comfort zone: Learn a new skill or language. Play a video game with your kids. Do your spouse’s chores for a week. Go back and do the work of an entry level employee for a day. Cross train with someone in another department and learn their job. Read an article/book that takes a different position than you normally take. I once heard National Medal of Honor recipient Kyle Carpenter say, “Growth and comfort can’t coexist.” This truth bomb stuck with me that day. My hope is that you see the truth in that and look for a way to be uncomfortable this week! P.S. Read The Comfort Crisis by Michael Easter. It is one of the best books I’ve read this year. Question: When was the last time you were truly uncomfortable and how did you respond? Looking back, what would you change and/or what did you learn about yourself? Here is a quick assessment that will take you 5 minutes to figure it out. Nobody will ever see your results but you. Warning: If you are not going to be honest with yourself this is a worthless assessment. To take the assessment use the QR code above or go to www.MYCHARACTERTEST.com
VLOG – Leaders Lead Change They Don’t Manage the Status Quo
Nobody is inspired by a leader who says “I’m going to fight to keep everything exactly the way it has always been!” Change is coming. Fighting for the status quo insures you are falling behind everyone else. When a leader fights for the status quo, they are uninspiring and bound to lose that battle. In the next 120 seconds, hear my thoughts on why leaders fight for the status quo. Here is a quick assessment that will take you 5 minutes to figure it out. Nobody will ever see your results but you. Warning: If you are not going to be honest with yourself this is a worthless assessment. To take the assessment use the QR code above or go to www.MYCHARACTERTEST.com
The Pop Quizzes in Life Determine Your Character
Lets face it! We rarely pass tests if we fail to prepare for those tests. If you are waiting on some big defining moment for you to prove your character, you are going to wait a long time! Most people only face a few of those big moments over a lifetime. If you live 80 years, you may face three or four of those defining moments. That is not when character is made. Character is made in the thousands of day to day choices we make in between the big moments. What makes a young man in his twenties stand up to the celebrity CEO and bring down a company like Theranos? What makes a German Lutheran preacher stand up to tyranny in Nazi Germany? What makes a 20 year old gymnast expose the abuse and corruption inside USA Gymnastics? These are life defining moments. They are the choices that someone makes that will be remembered long after they have left this earth. But what prepared them for that choice? Let’s face it. We rarely pass tests if we fail to prepare for those tests. Waiting for the big moments to exercise our character is as naive as never going to class, never opening a text book, and then showing up for the final exam at the end of the semester. Very few of us will pass that test. The thousands of little choices we make everyday prepare us for the big tests. They may be like homework or a pop quiz. But all those moments of preparation add up and prepare us for the real exam that is coming so we can grow beyond our current level. Some people are perpetually stuck in kindergarten. They don’t do their homework, fail the pop quizzes, and then wonder why they are not moving on to high school level or university level courses and responsibilities. Some may even throw a tantrum or a pity party because they feel the tests are too hard or unfair. Yet the truth is, they failed to prepare themselves for the test. Here are six examples of day to day choices we make and what they could be preparing us for later in life: Courage Pop Quiz: Having a tough conversation with a peer about their attitude. Courage Exam: Stopping a boss from falsely reporting financial information. Humility Pop Quiz: Admitting a mistake to the person you love the most. Humility Exam: Accepting responsibility for your team’s failure to meet a production deadline. Integrity Pop Quiz: Following through on an inconvenient commitment you made. Integrity Test: Telling the CEO the truth about cost overruns in your department. Selflessness Pop Quiz: Listening to the problems of a friend. Selflessness Exam: Putting yourself in a difficult situation for the good of the team. Duty Pop Quiz: Cleaning the dishes in the sink that your roommate left behind. Duty Exam: Stepping into a leadership void when everyone else hesitates. Positivity Pop Quiz: Helping your friend see the blessings in her life. Positivity Exam: Turning around the morale of a low performing team. We have to prepare ourselves for the small day to day homework assignments, that will prepare us for the pop quizzes, that will in turn prepare us for the big exams that come so infrequently. It is the intentional preparation that makes for success in the big tests in life. Becoming a Leader of Character requires us to prepare ourselves and the people we are called to lead, for the bigger exams. The best way to do that is to see everyday as a pop quiz for your character. Questions: What pop quizzes have you struggled with recently? How will you prepare yourself for the next pop quiz coming your way? Here is a quick assessment that will take you 5 minutes to figure it out. Nobody will ever see your results but you. Warning: If you are not going to be honest with yourself this is a worthless assessment. To take the assessment use the QR code above or go to www.MYCHARACTERTEST.com
