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Selflessness in Your 20s – Who Will You Follow?

Selflessness Definition: Putting the needs of others before our own needs, desires or convenience.

Have you ever felt like someone was just using you to get what they wanted? They talk a good game and flatter you, but when it is all said and done, it was all about them and their needs. Many leaders set a bad example for the people they lead because their goals are all about their own needs, desires or convenience. They may never see themselves as selfish, but everyone around them knows they have just been used.

For people in their twenties, the situation may look like a partner in project at school. It could be a friend who always asks for something from you but is never around when you need something. It may be a boss at work who talks about “the team” in one sentence but when things get tough, they worry about their reputation.

Who would you rather follow? The person who puts themselves first or the person who is consistently available for others? The person who leads like the team is there for them, or the person who is a servant leader that is focused on helping others grow.

Selfishness and Selflessness are both habits. Whenever you choose one or the other, you either get further from or closer to becoming the person you are called to be – a Leader of Character.

Your choices at this time in life form the habits that determine the type of leader you’ll be in the future. Selfish people become selfish leaders when they get the opportunity to lead. Selfish leaders rarely lead committed teams because the teams know what truly motivates the leader. Teams led by selfish people do things because they have to do them. Teams led by selfless people accomplish goals because they want to.

We can all probably name a selfish person who always seems to get what they want. They appear to be on the fast track to success or to a promotion. But, when they get there, they are alone – because nobody is fooled into following them. Leaders have followers. Bosses have employees. There is a difference. And the difference lies in the character of the leader.

The leader does not make the followers. The followers make the leader. When a leader is willing to exercise Selflessness and puts the needs of others before their own needs, desires and convenience, that is a person that will inspire people to follow.

The question to ask yourself is, “Would you follow you?”

Exercising Selflessness now, before someone grants you the title of leader, actually prepares you to lead in the future. It prepares you to inspire others, because they won’t question your motives. Because you’ve been unselfish before you earned the title of leader, they believe your motives are unselfish once you get that promotion.


  • When have you seen someone’s selfish motives damage a team?

  • Where can you serve others this week and exercise Selflessness?


“Would you follow you?” That is a critical question we all need to ask ourselves if we want to become Leaders of Character. Research has proven that people want to follow character. But where is your character today?

Here is a quick assessment that will take you 5 minutes to figure it out. Nobody will ever see your results but you.

Warning: If you are not going to be honest with yourself this is a worthless assessment.

To take the assessment use the QR code above or go to

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