Everyone else is not stupid. People who disagree with me are not evil. When someone makes a mistake, they are not incompetent. A person who has a different opinion is not dumb, uneducated, or trying to screw everyone else over.
Unfortunately, the lower versions of ourselves jump to these conclusions about others. Even when they are someone we live with, we let our sinful, human nature assume the worst about them.
When we jump to those negative conclusions, a few things happen and none of them are good.
- We don’t try to understand their point of view.
- We shut down any chance of productive problem solving.
- We fail to learn new ideas that they could provide.
- We damage relationships and break down trust.
- We become further and further alienated from those with whom we work and live.
- Everyone becomes less flexible, open minded, and teamwork dies.
There is another way to approach these moments. However, they require both Humility and Positivity.
Humility: Believing and acting like “it’s not about me.”
Positivity: Display a positive or “can do” attitude in all circumstances.
It’s a simple solution that could reverse the trends in our relationships and in our society.
What if we just gave each other the benefit of the doubt?
If we stopped making assumptions about the other person’s motives and assumed their best intentions, imagine where conversations could go. Imagine how people on opposite sides of an issue could begin with some common ground.
- Sales and Operations
- Command Staff and Union Representatives
- Christians and Muslims
- Democrats and Republicans
- Parents and Children
- Husbands and Wives
Just because they are on “the other side” does not mean they have impure or bad motives. Now we can all agree that their point of view is coming from a different perspective than our own. But what if we started to try to understand where that perspective came from instead of making poor assumptions about their motives?
“Help me understand where you are coming from…”
“That hasn’t been my experience, but I’d like to hear about yours….”
Imagine the productive dialogue that could happen when we begin by giving each other the benefit of the doubt. When we exercise the Humility to understand them you will see the acrimony that always seems to be just below the surface, go away.
We will become civil. We will understand. We will still think good things about the other person even if we still don’t agree with them. Negativity between the two sides will become Positivity needed for people to find a way to make things work. The “Can Do” attitude will prevail and compromises will get done.
We just need to give each other the benefit of the doubt.
Question:
- Wouldn’t you like more people to give you the benefit of the doubt and listen to you?
FINALLY!
Becoming a Leader of Character Audiobook is available on Audible. If you are an Audible user, then order it here:
You can also order on Spotify and Apple!
Audiobook sales have taken over for ebook sales. When we first published Becoming a Leader of Character in 2017, people were predicting ebooks were going to kill traditional hard copy print books.
That didn’t happen. In fact, print books’ percentage of sales are very similar to what they were in 2017 when we first published. What has changed is that audiobooks have eaten away at ebook sales.
Therefore, if you have been waiting on the audiobook version of Becoming a Leader of Character it is now here! You can get it on Spotify, Audible or any other major platform for audiobooks.
While you drive or workout, marinate your brains in theSix Habits of Character – Courage, Humility, Integrity, Selflessness, Duty, and Positivity.
Order now on your favorite platform:
Character Counts!
Dave
